I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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