Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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