I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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