If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
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