Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
