we have pet lesbian snakes
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
