can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
