literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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