just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
