i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
