You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
