i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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