The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
