Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
