smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
