i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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