Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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