My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
