I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
