Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
