Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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