I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
