I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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