We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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