Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
