found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
