so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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