just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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