Moan for me like Helen Keller
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
