Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just google imaged poop.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
