so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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