I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
