whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
nutella sex= disaster
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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