worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
