white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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