Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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