look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
