Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
