im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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