i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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