You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
