wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
not ubering you a puppy
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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