This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
