Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
