At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
