I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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