a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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