dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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