If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
