Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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