I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
