She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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