There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
