do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
