Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
