Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
